she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize