You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
