the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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