You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
