I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
