Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
