so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
