Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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