I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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