Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
