Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
