If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
