As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
