U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I need to stop coming to work sober
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
