at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize