have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
