Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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