I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
