Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
