there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
