my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize