I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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