I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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