Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
