how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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