I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
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