I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
