A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
