Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I wish there were birth control emojis
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
