Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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