I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
