Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
