I'm pants shitting drunk right now
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
