Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize