direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
