I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
