The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
