She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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