sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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