the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
