hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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