There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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