We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
