I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
