Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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