and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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