I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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