I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
