dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
