Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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