Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.

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(206): View more from Washington

tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth

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(406): View more from Montana

Its weird to pet your cat with a boner

(1-406): View more from Montana

What the fuck?

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(989): View more from Michigan

you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin

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(847): View more from Illinois

boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..

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(479): View more from Arkansas

No that means he must've used the nipple clamps

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(757): View more from Virginia

He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy

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