It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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