come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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