I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize