Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
