Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
