i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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