so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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