i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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