I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Floor bacon is actually really good
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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