I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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