My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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