just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
