I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
