if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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